It's a beautiful life!

Something's gotta give

I took up the nail clipper and proceeded to cut my nails slowly and carefully as if everything in my world depended on the result of that manicure. I wasn't about to give in to the knot in my throat and the tears that welled up in my eyes. I'm stronger than that. Besides, what's there to cry about? Long nails look good on me, no? When did my nails get so long anyway? The stinging was almost unbearable now as I tried to fight back the tears. When did I become one of those too-busy-for-anything-else kind of people?

I don't recall exactly when, but looking back, this week wasn't so bad. I broke up my usual 7-day work week with a day off on Monday. I went back to the beginning of an extremely busy work week on Tuesday. The new school year always inspires me to start new too, so I tried to study but law texts make me sleepy. On Wednesday after work, five of us ended up in Brampton at an Indian restaurant. After animated discussions and what seemed liked endless delays, I finally got home after midnight. I went to work on Thursday, went to the store to do some invoicing afterwards and then went over to Tam's place for bit. I got home late and went to bed as Friday came around. I had another busy day at work in which I tried to fit in lunch with the girls, clearing my desk and leaving early. I accomplished that and went to the Russel Peters performance in Brampton. I went to bed after midnight and woke up this morning just in time to catch the last round of qualifying for the Italian GP. I had a burst of energy when Kimi took pole, so I got dressed and left home.

I only realised when I got into the car that I hadn't had breakfast, but that's nothing new and I had to be at the store, so I carried on.

What a life! My goal is to never lose sight of what's important to me. I live for the people that I love, but lately I've been too busy to do that. I neglected to call my Mum, I've skipped out on family events, missed birthdays, failed to return phone calls and I still haven't responded to e-mails from last month. I left my breakfast on the table almost everyday this week because there was something more urgent to take care of.

Reality check: handling a full-time job, a full-time retail investment, volunteering, family obligations and social engagements has become more taxing that fulfilling. I'm grateful for the opportunities that I've had and when I came back in April, I knew that I'd be busy, but this isn't what I had in mind... and this can't go on.

Lesson learned: I can do everything - just not simultaneously. From now on, I'd have to make a few sacrifices, starting with declining the invitation to attend Fidel's BBQ this evening. I'd be better off to go home and get some sleep.

I put down the clipper and admired my neat mid-length nails. All was well again. Equilibrium was restored. I even managed to smile.

It's good practice because when tomorrow comes I'll have to put on my smiles and face the world again.

posted by S.M. @ 4:11 pm