Setting Precedents
All bad precedents begin as justifiable measures - Julius CaesarThis past week was rough even by drama-queen standards.
I came out of a perfect weekend and a Mon in bed recovering from perfection and somehow, in my giddiness, I stumbled into the twilight zone.
I was totally confused and utterly bewildered by what had happened. It wasn't so much the event but my reaction to it that caused concern. I couldn't sleep at all and I didn't eat. I played back the scenario over and over in my mind and repeatedly failed to comprehend how I let it happen and why I didn't just shake this off like I always did. The mental/emotional overload quickly manifested itself physically in acute stomach pains and I spent Tues in bed clutching my mid-section and praying for relief. After a full day of wallowing, I managed to drag myself to work on Wed, Thurs and even Fri, but each day was progressively more unproductive as I became consumed with a need to understand why I faltered. That was all I could think about... Well, that and the fact that a whole week had gone by and I hadn't received an apology or a hint of remorse from someone who was most certainly aware that he had upset me!
Nope, I won't tolerate being treated like that or spoken to in that tone or being blamed for something that I hadn't done. So what if I had gotten angry at that crucial moment and said things that were untruthful and downright malicious? What else does someone expect in that situation? I thought I made things clear. I deserve an apology. I demand to be treated with respect - no exceptions!
After much consideration, I figured it out - I'm too nice! No, really, I'm too nice sometimes. I allow myself to forget that not everyone that smiles with me is my friend. I fail to remember that people will treat me the way I allow them to treat me. It's common knowledge that if you let somebody get away with something once, they will do it again.
Having admitted that, I might as well accept that my wounds were self-inflicted and the only thing that was really hurt was my pride because I didn't get my way this time. He never lied to me. He never pretended to care. He did disrespect me, but I never enforced the "apology necessary" clause before, so there is no conceivable reason to expect him to follow that rule now.
I haven't spoken to him since then and I had no intention of doing that either. Unfortunately, nobody gets to demand respect. We all have to earn it, so I should apologise for my part in this debacle because it's the polite thing to do. It's only right to treat people the way that you would like to be treated.
As justifiable as I may want to think my actions are, it's time to stop setting bad precedents!
posted by S.M. @ 4:19 pm
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