Back to life
Okay, I didn't get lost or die or anything like that. I've been away. Thank you for your lovely voice messages and e-mails. Did I forget to give notice that I'd be away for a bit? Well, forgive me; I might have forgotten to mention that in the melee. Anyhow, I wasn't at my best when I left, but all my ailments miraculously disappeared when I arrived in T’dad. (
pix will follow)
I had quite the adventure; I added a few more people to my circle, including my aunt’s step-son, a new in-law and a niece, my cousins’ neighbours and my ex’s daughter. Nice! I managed to complete some business errands and even do some sight-seeing. The rest of time was spent with my peeps. That was by far the favourite part of my time there. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to have two sets of everything that goes with living in a place.
There was more than one life-altering event to report - more about that later. Hmmm… what else? I think that sums it up for now – I was away and now I’m back to my life in TO.
Lest I forget
It just occurred to me as I was eating my bran muffin:
1. Muffins should not be made of bran
2. I've been such an ungrateful bitch!
It was so easy though. I've been sick for the past few weeks and I couldn't see past the debilitating stomach pains and the occasional heartache. Anyhow, I'm doing well now. My stomach didn't get that memo though. It's still not doing well, so I'm due for a full GI investigation next week - and yes, as horrific as it sounds, that's a good thing. The Dr. could only prescribe treatment for the manifold symptoms that I complained of and I desperately need to get fixed up asap. I'm so sick of being sick!
So, yeah, the point is I forgot to remember to be grateful for the blessings in my life; my God-sent Mummy who took on my pain; the sweetheart who juggled work and other responsibilities so that he could take care of me for days; the dearest friend who stayed on the phone with me for hours just so that I wouldn't have to be alone; the cousin who lovingly offered advice; the relatives who were there for me; the friends who listened compassionately; the other friends who not-so-patiently cheered me on and everyone else who makes my life so beautiful.
I haven't forgotten you - thanks!
Setting Precedents
All bad precedents begin as justifiable measures - Julius Caesar
This past week was rough even by drama-queen standards.
I came out of a perfect weekend and a Mon in bed recovering from perfection and somehow, in my giddiness, I stumbled into the twilight zone.
I was totally confused and utterly bewildered by what had happened. It wasn't so much the event but my reaction to it that caused concern. I couldn't sleep at all and I didn't eat. I played back the scenario over and over in my mind and repeatedly failed to comprehend how I let it happen and why I didn't just shake this off like I always did. The mental/emotional overload quickly manifested itself physically in acute stomach pains and I spent Tues in bed clutching my mid-section and praying for relief. After a full day of wallowing, I managed to drag myself to work on Wed, Thurs and even Fri, but each day was progressively more unproductive as I became consumed with a need to understand why I faltered. That was all I could think about... Well, that and the fact that a whole week had gone by and I hadn't received an apology or a hint of remorse from someone who was most certainly aware that he had upset me!
Nope, I won't tolerate being treated like that or spoken to in that tone or being blamed for something that I hadn't done. So what if I had gotten angry at that crucial moment and said things that were untruthful and downright malicious? What else does someone expect in that situation? I thought I made things clear. I deserve an apology. I demand to be treated with respect - no exceptions!
After much consideration, I figured it out - I'm too nice! No, really, I'm too nice sometimes. I allow myself to forget that not everyone that smiles with me is my friend. I fail to remember that people will treat me the way I allow them to treat me. It's common knowledge that if you let somebody get away with something once, they will do it again.
Having admitted that, I might as well accept that my wounds were self-inflicted and the only thing that was really hurt was my pride because I didn't get my way this time. He never lied to me. He never pretended to care. He did disrespect me, but I never enforced the "apology necessary" clause before, so there is no conceivable reason to expect him to follow that rule now.
I haven't spoken to him since then and I had no intention of doing that either. Unfortunately, nobody gets to demand respect. We all have to earn it, so I should apologise for my part in this debacle because it's the polite thing to do. It's only right to treat people the way that you would like to be treated.
As justifiable as I may want to think my actions are, it's time to stop setting bad precedents!
Crazy in love?
Well, if you're lucky, you've been there and done that and you love it! If not, you're one of the nay-sayers and today is probably the worst day of the year for you. You'll want to gag at the commercialism and all the over-zealous public displays of affection of those love-stricken fools. But, hey, be nice, it's not their fault - they're just a lil' bit crazy! No, seriously. Like Rosalind pointed out “Love is a madness” - and when you’re in love, the intense sensations you experience are enough to drive you mad. Ok, this isn’t just me trying to rationalize craziness – research has shown that the serotonin levels in couples who'd been madly in love for less than six months were equivalent to the low serotonin levels found in sufferers of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Psychologists state that “Phase Two” most closely mimics the symptoms of mental illness. What’s Phase Two, you ask? According to anthropologist Helen Fisher, there are 3 phases of falling love and each one is accompanied by notable chemical reactions in our bodies. Read on:
Phase One – The Lust Phase is all-consuming and powerfully disorienting.
Signs & Symptoms: breathless, dizzy, and incapable of rational thought. You have the attention span of a severely afflicted ADD sufferer. Days and nights are filled with fantasizing about your new love and sending and receiving txt msgs from same.
Substances: pheromones guide you to an appropriate mate and the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen drive you to seek intimacy, while phenylethylamine (found in chocolate), keeps you wanting more.
Phase Two - This is the Attraction Phase.
Signs & Symptoms: sweaty palms, racing heartbeat. Suddenly nothing in this cruel world seems that bad. Loss of appetite, insomnia, infatuation, obsessive thoughts.
Substances: your body is now excreting all kinds of "monoamines." - namely dopamine and norepinephrine which combine to produce a sense of elation, energy, sleeplessness, loss of appetite -- (behaviour like that of someone under the influence of illicit drugs). Meanwhile, serotonin, ensures that you can think of nothing else and adrenalin keeps the poison coursing through your veins.
Phase Three - This is when the bond solidifies and is known to sex researchers as the Attachment Phase. (Ha!)
Signs & Symptoms: you settle into your romantic niche and experience separation anxiety, an intense bond and sense of togetherness. You make those around you gag with your lovey-dovey antics.
Substances: oxytocin and vasopressin. Oxytocin is the cuddler released during orgasm is also the chemical that bonds mothers to newborns. Vasopressin makes you want to stay together.
Still not convinced? Watch the video explanation
here.
Either way, don't forget to make sure that you let all your important people know that you love them (btw). Have a happy Valentine's Day and go ahead - get a little crazy!
Propaganda
There were so many of these that I had more than enough to keep me entertained on the road.
Here are a few more!
Another perspective
This was me before I returned to TO. Almost to the end of my amazing adventure in Cuba, I was assessing the damage. I had a rash on my face and legs which I assume was from the buckets of rain water that I bathed with in Vinales. I was sunburnt to a crisp and my hair was a matted mess from the exotic combination of salt water and lack of conditioner -- good times!
Did I say that I can't wait to go again?!?
¡Viva Cuba!
By now everyone who has had to listen to me rave about Cuba knows that I've been fascinated by its history, culture and role in modern history. I've been wanting to go there for many years now so it was a dream come true for me to walk in the footsteps of the revolution and through the streets of what remains of the former colonial splendor. I loved every bit of it and it was surreal to socialise with locals and soak up the warmth and energy of their culture. Once again I passed on spending Xmas with my family to go off and experience that phenomenon in another place. Armed with a lonely Planet and a backpack full of protein bars and nut cakes, I embarked on my much-anticipated quest to see what all the fuss is about over there
Highlights:
The Route: 3 days of Habana Vieja and Centro Habana, followed by a trip to Santa Clara, a night of crazy celebration in Remedios and a day on the beach near Cayo Santa Maria. We then made our way to Trinidad by bus and then to Ancon by bike. We left Trinidad to spend another night in Habana en route to the gorgeous Vinales. After two nights there, we made our way back to Vedado because it was closer to the airport.
The People: Absolutely beautiful! Almost everyone was some degree of mulatto and I was fascinated by how curvy every chica was and how fit every single male was. I suppose that could be attributed to their active lifestyle and lack of excess. Ok, so maybe I'm more superficial than I claim, so to be fair, let me say that generally they were friendly and excessively charming - even the touts. Cubans have a quiet resilience and solidarity that is admirable and endearing.
The Culture: As charming and fiery as any with a Spanish heritage. Everybody can dance and they have no inhibitions when they do. It's overtly sexual and if you're not up for that you'd be better off to keep away from the dance floor. Their casual flirtiness reminds me of Trini people. I loved it!
The Food: Not as much of a shock as I was preparing for. The Creole food is nothing new as I grew up in T'dad and some of the meals in Cuba were amazing. The other days when I was roughing it (I was backpacking after all!), I managed to find palatable dinners. I found the resort food more disastrous than anything else I've had to stomach (and I recall the snails and numerous raw unidentifiable tidbits from France the Xmas before). The food at the casas was good.
The Sights: Breathtaking! I totally loved the colonial architecture. One could just imagine how spectacular the buildings and towns would have been in the days of plenty. Momuments greet you at every corner, so I was kept busy trying to see them all. The natural beauty of the hills, valleys and beaches is unrivalled. I was thrilled at every turn! The political propoganda adorned billboards as frequently as consumer advertising does in N.A. and it made for a quick history lesson and interesting conversation during the bus rides from one city to the next.
The Conclusion: I wasn't able to adhere to my carefully planned itinerary, but that's okay because I found so many great reasons not to. It also means that I didn't make it to the south of the island. I'll definitely do that on my next trip!
The Pictures: Gosh, you know me - I haven't sorted them out yet!
[C'mon, bear with me, the pictures will follow!]
